Mad Hatter's Tea Party


From Steve Wilinsky

Well I be dammed - Green Tops do listen to us.

A few months ago we were all invited to a meeting to be hosted by our friends at Green Tops. At the time I may have innocently mentioned that we were being invited to a tea party hosted by the Mad Hatter.

Well last night they treated us to a full performance of Alice in Wonderland.

We were hosted by the Mad Hatter - Eddie "I should have been in bed hours ago" Scott

Hatter: A madman who sits always at tea, ever since Time stopped working for him. He takes his tea with the March Hare and the Dormouse. Alice is temporarily their guest, although she finds the event to be the stupidest tea party she has ever attended. Later, the nervous Hatter is forced to be a witness at the trial.

Eddie's performance was wonderful. He had reinterpreting questions down to a fine art. His assistance to his friends was quite heart warming especially when he answered questions for the directors and their agents, and told people asking questions that there was no need for an answer as they were rhetorical.

We all hope that the evening helped him with his therapy.

We had a wonderful cameo by Richard "wait and see" Broome as the Dormouse.

The Dormouse: Another guest at the mad tea party. He can't seem to stay awake. He is also one of the observers at the trial.

He had very few lines but they were well delivered:

Q. Do you have insurance?
A. I don't know.

Q. Will you fix the wall even if you don't get planning permission?
A. I don't know.

He did have some trouble remembering his lines but you could hardly see Phil Bradby's or Mark Clynde's lips moving, as yet again they helped their friend.

Phil "trust me I'm a lawyer" Bradby put in a sterling performance as the Cheshire Cat

Cheshire Cat: Possessing remarkably sharp claws and alarming sharp teeth, the Cheshire cat is courteous and helpful, despite his frightening appearance. His face is fixed in an eerie grin. He can make any and all parts of his body disappear and reappear.

What a smile and the way he could disappear by crawling up his own arse - simple perfection.

I have nothing to do with Green Tops.

Well yes I do, but my company Mango Developments has nothing to do with Green Tops.

Well actually, if we get planning permission my company Mango Developments will be doing the development.

Mr Mark "I want to be your neighbour" Clyndes hardly appeared to be acting in his role as the Queen of Hearts

Queen of Hearts: Nasty, brutal, and loud, the Queen delights in ordering executions, although everyone seems to get pardoned in the end. The people of Wonderland are terrified of her. Although Alice initially thinks she is silly, she grows frightened of her. In the end, however, a giant-size Alice is able to stand up to the Queen's temper and her threats.

He delivers his lines with convictions.

Yeah we destroyed the land on the Heptonstall Road but so what? We learnt from our mistakes (and we'll probably learn from some more mistakes we make on the Mill Pond).

Yeah we cut down a tree with someone in it but it was a confusing day.

Of course we have insurance (see the Dormouse above).

Of course we will fix the wall even if we don't get planning permission (see the Dormouse above).

Let's hope Alice manages to rise up in the end of this tale as well

As in all classics there are a number of characters who are brought in to add that bit of comic relief. For our pleasure we had The Architect, The Engineer, and the Silent Arboriculturist playing the Hapless Gardeners

Two, Five, and Seven: These three unfortunate gardeners are struggling to repaint the Queen's roses, as they planted white roses by mistake and now fear for their lives. Like the other people working for the queen, they are shaped like playing cards. When the Queen orders their beheading, Alice hides them.

  • What a lovely picture they want to paint...
  • Aren't the houses good for the environment!
  • They're better than trees for the environment!
  • The site entrance is the site entrance!
  • Look what I designed for Mongolia!
  • Wow here's an old picture of Hebden Bridge!
  • I've got this great toy that can undermine your foundations in no time at all!

Character descriptions borrowed from Notes on Alice in Wonderland